28 April 2014

Lucy

"I don't know how you can still be friends with Lucy. It's so irritating and rude when she does that to you."
But we were seventeen. And seventeen is young, and sometimes seventeen forgives or doesn't care. Or seventeen really does care but doesn't want to cause drama. Or doesn't quite know why seventeen hangs on.


And now we're a little bit older and a little bit wiser, and maybe Lucy can't be the friend who can cry with me every time I am sad, and maybe Lucy can't be the friend who can come to my rescue at three am when my car won't start. But when I saw Lucy today in the airport for the first time in three years, and we closed the gap of three thousand miles, the first thing we do together. . .

we laugh.

We laugh hard. Like there was never any time or any distance. Like we never exchanged a cross word. Like feelings have never been hurt.

Rachel never did get over that incident. They never bonded. Rachel will never understand why I love Lucy so. They both are such dear friends to me.

And in this time, when so many I have loved have chosen to let hurts overshadow the friendships we had, and to end our great adventures without ever giving a reason (though I have my suspicions), and when the whims of romance come and snatch away the best friend I thought I ever had, and when babies are born, and parenting is understandably demanding, and some friends unfortunately are buried, and some move even further away, and some just disappear in this age of technology. . . Lucy still laughs with me.

We have had ups and downs, but our friendship isn't subject to moods. We have troubles, we get depressed. but mostly we laugh. And laughter is the best medicine. And no matter how sad I am, and no matter how much I hated everything going on, and no matter how much we disagree, we just laugh and my soul feels so alive. And I remember that friendships are all so very different. And I am so blessed to have a friend like Lucy that those few times we talk, she listens, and is so understanding. We can talk about how troubling our lives are without making it sound at all depressing. And for that, I absolutely love her. No friend is perfect. But Lucy is really special. 


18 April 2014

Online Banking

I have been talking to a lot of people it seems about my adventures in online banking, and wonder of wonders, a few of my coworkers seem to be asking me for advice on saving.

It makes me laugh. Me, saving?

Not too long ago, the concept of having even a thousand dollars in an emergency fund seemed unattainable. I hardly know how I got there. It may be that the first time I reached--and stayed at over a thousand dollars untouched in my bank account was last year when I received my tax refund. I was refunded about $3400--most of it due to having taxes withheld at a rate higher than I needed to, and promptly put it into a savings account, at an online bank which I did not often use, so I would not touch it. I put some of it into a CD (Certificate of Deposit). And true to its name, the other $2400 was used when I became unemployed in October and the state of California was nearly 3 months behind in paying unemployment benefits. I had no income, and could not find a job. That is what emergency funds are for.  Since my EDD payments have come in, I have replenished my savings accounts over and beyond what I had last year, begun an IRA, and started investing some spare cash. All done within a few months, making very little money. I am proud of myself for scrimping and saving, and skipping eating out, foregoing shopping trips, taking the short way home. All so I can save.

Now that I have given my spiel--let's get to the good stuff. To save, you have got to have a good place to do it. I have found that I love my online banks. I currently have checking accounts at THREE banks, and my IRA is at a credit union. This is normal for me. I have always been someone to have multiple bank accounts because I use them for different things. I have four debit cards in my wallet. I have at least eight different accounts. I like my organised chaos. Because different banks meet different needs.

I'm going to guess you already have an account with a big bank. One like Wells Fargo, Chase, Bank of America, US Bank, etc. They're everywhere, have great hours, pay crappy interest, have high fees, ATMs everywhere, sales pitches galore, have been bailed out by the government, and we love to hate them but can't leave them.  I bank with Bank of America. I loathe them. They have horrid customer service. They pay 0.01%  interest on their Checking accounts if you, like me, have under $10,000 in the account. I use them for the convenience, and nothing else. I can deposit cash in their ATMs and their ATMs are every where. I also have my routing number and account number memorised. Seriously that's about it. But every time the state of California deposits money into my EDD account, which is with BofA, I take it out as soon as I can, because I cannot stand the idea of such a despicable business getting to hold on to thousands of dollars of my money and make a profit off me while they charge me high fees if I make a little mistake, or need to talk to a teller, etc. And they can't be bothered to pay me interest. It might cut into their bottom lines. 3.4 billion dollars and no interest to speak of

So, once I take it out of BofA, what do I do with it? I transfer it! To Ally, or CapitalOne360. Both have amazing customer service. Ally pays 0.25% interest on Checking and CapOne360 pays 0.20%--25 times and 20 times what BofA pays respectively.

Checking and Savings accounts are free at both Ally and CapOne and Savings bear 0.75% and 0.87% interest respectively. Bank of America doesn't even offer free savings unless you have at least $50,000 with them or meet certain minimum balance requirements, or make transfers. With Ally and CapOne, you just open an account, and put money in it (any amount) and watch the interest accrue. No funky rules to follow.

Capital One has slightly lower interest rates than Ally but it has plenty of its own merits. I prefer to use Ally for money that will be sitting around for a while and Capital One for my checking account that actually gets used, and the Emergency Fund that is linked to it for easy saving. My tax refunds go to Ally for higher interest, and my CD is with Ally. The customer service is spectacular at both, and I have never had a problem with either. I have been with CapOne360 since September of 2011, and for nearly 3 years I was being paid through their Person to Person transfer (this is back before Capital One bought the original bank, ING) I actually didn't like Capital One due to some earlier experiences with them, but I have to say, they have done really well. I have been with Ally at least a year and a half.

To open an account, you do need a credit history as I recently learned. It doesn't have to a good credit score. Just a credit history.  I tried to refer my cousin and help her open one. We went through the process of verifying her identity and everything, and they denied her because she has zero credit history. And when you open accounts with online banks, they do go through extra steps to verify your identity. It also takes a few days because you have to link to an existing account they will make a few very small transfers ( a few cents) back and forth to verify the account is actually yours and you are who you say you are. This is due to federal banking regulation under the US Patriot Act. It's nothing hinky. They really do need to get all that personal info.

Capital One 360 frequently has promotions. If you are interested in trying them out, and earning $50, leave me a comment, or send a private post on G+ and I can refer you. Who doesn't love free money? I started my account with a $50 bonus and it turns out they have become one of my favourite banks.


09 April 2014

Filled

I want to talk again about Marina Keegan. Because the words she wrote float around in my head. She asked the questions I ask. But she could do it more eloquently than I could. Because, well, writing was her gift.
She wrote:
Standing outside a freshman dorm, I couldn’t find a single student aspiring to be a banker – but at commencement this May, there’s a 50 percent chance I’ll be sitting next to one. This strikes me as incredibly sad.

Nicholas Kristof wrote about her and gives us some good things to think about.

It took me forever to finally decide on a college degree. Ms. Keegan may have figured out what she wanted to do by 22, but I am just now getting that figured out. She and I were just a few weeks apart in age. I've been out of high school long enough to get a graduate degree or two, but I had no clue what to do with my life. It's so expensive out here, and I didn't know how I could support myself and also be happy with my life. And I wasn't willing to go get a college degree for the sake of getting on. Especially since I have financed my own college education.

And so years, of asking myself questions. While working on my AA, and working to work, and working in a job I actually loved. And working in a career I felt mattered. Even if it wasn't what I wanted to do forever.

What is fulfilling?
Does my work matter?
Am I pursuing something that makes me happy, and will I still feel the same way when I retire?
How do I affect other people with my work?
Can I alter the way I go about my work to make it more fulfilling?

It took way too long to figure out what I want. Way too long to know that now it may be longer till I can go to school.

Being a twenty-something can really suck




07 April 2014

The Opposite of Loneliness

 Marina Keegan wrote this essay two years ago, just before she graduated from Yale. She died a week after her graduation in a car accident.

We don’t have a word for the opposite of loneliness, but if we did, I could say that’s what I want in life. What I’m grateful and thankful to have found at Yale, and what I’m scared of losing when we wake up tomorrow and leave this place.
It’s not quite love and it’s not quite community; it’s just this feeling that there are people, an abundance of people, who are in this together. Who are on your team. When the check is paid and you stay at the table. When it’s four a.m. and no one goes to bed. That night with the guitar. That night we can’t remember. That time we did, we went, we saw, we laughed, we felt. The hats.
Yale is full of tiny circles we pull around ourselves. A cappella groups, sports teams, houses, societies, clubs. These tiny groups that make us feel loved and safe and part of something even on our loneliest nights when we stumble home to our computers — partner-less, tired, awake. We won’t have those next year. We won’t live on the same block as all our friends. We won’t have a bunch of group-texts.
This scares me. More than finding the right job or city or spouse – I’m scared of losing this web we’re in. This elusive, indefinable, opposite of loneliness. This feeling I feel right now.
But let us get one thing straight: the best years of our lives are not behind us. They’re part of us and they are set for repetition as we grow up and move to New York and away from New York and wish we did or didn’t live in New York. I plan on having parties when I’m 30. I plan on having fun when I’m old. Any notion of THE BEST years comes from clichéd “should haves…” “if I’d…” “wish I’d…”